germany's next top model..

heidi klum nasil aglatiyor kizlari nasil duygusal iskence ediyor nasil "atildin" diyip sonra "saka saka" igrencligine yatiyor. peki o salak kizlar neden manken olmak icin bir ajansa gitmiyorlar? mazohist mi bunlar?

chocomel

cikolatisini siyirip marsmelovunu yemek istiyorum hepsinin.

weiss wurst (beyaz sosis)

kantinde hergun 15 dakika menu tabelasinin onunde dikilip yemek iceriklerini anlamaya calisiyorum. gecen gun bavyera menseiili bembeyaz sosin yaninda veal (dana eti) yazdigini gorunce beyazliginin nerden geldigini dusunmeden gittim onu aldim. afiyetle yerken gerzek koligim kis kis siritarak:'onun icinde ne oldugunu biliyor musun' dedi, ben de 'bilmiyorum ve bilmek istemiyorum tadi guzel ve bunu yemek istiyorum' dedim. gercekten bilmek istemiyorum:(

istanbula gitmek

o kadar gercek gibi gelmiyor ki daha valizimi bile hazirlamadim su an itibariyle ucusa 48 saatten az kala.
koliglerim: ah ne guzel napicaksin istanbulda?
ben:yemek yicem!!!!

bugun ortmenim bana istanbul hakkinda sorular sorarken onu o kadar yanlis anladim ki konusmanin sonunda kendisine istanbulda dogal gazla calisan otomobiller oldugunu soyledigimi farkettim. acaba 'ben yanlis anladim onun icin boyle sacma bi cevap verdim' dese miydim? ama bu yabanci dilimin seviye(sizligi)ni kabul etmek olmaz miydi?

baba ve anarsik kizi

ben:calisma iznimi uzatmam gerekiyor
baba:uzatma bosver yeter bu kadar (????)

bahar geldi...

ben artik kilotlu corap giymiyorum:)
bunu soyledigimde sevgili koligim K gozlerini kocaman acti ve hayatta boyle bisey duymamis gibi:'neeeee butun kis kilotlu corap mi giydin???' dedi. sanirim buranin benim icin ne kadar soguk oldugunu simdi anladi.

mütemadiyen...

"Bedia pencerede Kamuran'i beklerken mütemadiyen yagmur yagiyordu."

"Mütemadiyen yagmur yagmak" diye birsey var. R.N.Güntekin uydurmadi bunu. su an itibariyle 72 saati gecti o "mütemadiyen".

phone call from germany

My boss to be called this morning having the whole team with him. i heard big "hello"s from the behind which was relaxing. he said he will be calling again, i suppose he doesnt want to let me be discouraged because of the delay.
found my old german lecture books and started to look into them a little to send the bordom away.
really cant spend my time in a productive way.

sunday in the woods

jogged and got fresh air in the woods with friends.

got quite a walk;)

...

my contact at T-Mobile has just informed me that she couldnt reach anyone in the job agency hehehehe. it sounds like turkey to me a lot. anyway to sum up: i believe i am here for another 2 weeks :(

T-Mobile'daki hatun aradı, job agency'de kimse telefona cevap vermiyomuş. almanyada da oluyo demek ki böyle şeyler:) kaldım burda bir 2 hafta daha galiba ben oy anam oy:(

waiting packed up!

waiting with sutcase packed up, as a victim of german bureaucracy, wasting time at home litterally.meanwhile i keep hearing discouraging things about germany and confusing my mind. people keep saying it will be boring after istanbul and will not be a long term stay.
having second thoughts. God help me !!

valizi topladık gardrop'u boşalttık pasaport yok hala! kısmetse haftaya kalmasam artık yaw.
bu arada almanyadaki arkadaşlar saolsunlar moralimi bozuyolar. istanbuldan sonra sıkılırsın falan diyolar. sanki istanbulda çok eğleniyorum da hehehe.
bakalım artık bindik bir alamete...

can optimism and positivity be learned?

counting down...

applied for the visa today. the lady said it can take 6 weeks to complete the procedure.
ooops. have to start to pack up i suppose.

the contract is here

will apply soon for the visa. dad seems to have accepted the situation. making plans to pack up.

should i or shouldn't i?

Top question nowadays: Should i take the offer from T-Mobile and move to Bonn/Germany?

They have a starbucks at the enterence of the building after all.

To be honest i already kindda took it:)

i am having second thoughts. it should be normal right? RIGHT??

tired...

of living, of working, of planning, of dreaming but not being able to accomplish, not knowing what to do next, not knowing what i want in deed...

is there a '27 year' depression? well i am on it:) turned 27 last week and realized i am not a fresh graduate anymore, becoming a professional with many responsibilities at work, many things to do, decide, plan bla bla. realized i have been doing the same shit for money which i was so promising to myself to quit one day. realized i havent moved even a step further the way i wanted to, (well moved from one company to another but it doesnt count), realized i am still in the middle of nowhere between the paths to ordinary family life and the 'follow your dreams' kind of life. realized i cant stop the days go by me and cant stop the feeling that they are wasted. realized i am still waiting for the dark-skinned guy to decide on my next step in life. feeling late for 'something', i dont know what. realized i am not even buying new furniture because i dont feel permanent. want to be permanent actually?

realized i am not writing in spanish anymore;)

yes there is a 27 year depression:)

recently...

-over time..

-longing..

-overtime..

-missing..

-overtime..

-yearning..

-overtime..

-craving..

now what?

ok everybody liked eachother.he passed the first test:P now what?

the big day..

first boyfriend ever to meet the family. well... a part of the family in fact. this new year's eve will be one to remember:)

what to do with your life?

dont you think it is strange how a "little" and "unimportant" decision can change your life? like going out for dinner with some "guy", and going out with him once more and then again and again... and finding yourself waiting to see him again. realizing that you started arranging your life for him and then planning your close future according to him? puffff! and then thinking is it going to worth it? can i stay single and problem-free for ever?